There's More to the Issue than the Issue Before Us

In February of 2019, the General Conference of The United Methodist Church will meet in special session. The purpose of this special session is to consider the Council of Bishops' recommendation regarding A Way Forward, the report of a special commission of The UMC created out of the 2016 General Conference to help United Methodists move beyond the stalemate regarding homosexuality.

Since the creation of The UMC in 1968, the Church's official position on sexual orientation has been a source of conflict and division. On one side of the issue are those who view homosexuality as "incompatible with Christian teaching." This view has been the prevailing position since 1972. This position prohibits the ordination of openly, self-avoided, practicing homosexuals. It also prohibits UM clergy from performing same-sex weddings and the use of UM facilities for such weddings.

As would be expected, this official position is offensive to LGBTQ people and their allies. This group is calling for a change of the official position and its language in The Book of Social Principles. They have staged protests at every General Conference since 1972. Some clergy have challenged the official position by performing same-sex marriages. Some conferences have ordained homosexual persons. This past quadrennium, one conference elected an openly gay bishop.

On the surface, the decision facing the special session appears to be a black and white issue. Do we maintain the current official position or do we change it? If the special session upholds the current language, some who oppose the official position will withdraw from The UMC. If the special session changes the official position, some have indicated they will leave The UMC and create a new, Wesleyan domination. This group calls themselves the Wesleyan Covenant Association. It appears to be a no win situation. Either way the special session chooses, some group threatens to leave the denomination.

As with every seemingly black-and-white issue, there is more to the issue than the issue before us. This issue of sexual orientation is but the face of other, deeper issues. These deeper issues determine the position we take on this one, presenting issue of sexual orientation. These deeper issues include such questions as:

• What is the distinguishing mark of a follower of Jesus? 
• What is the nature of the Christian life? 
• What is the nature of scripture and how do we use it? 
• What guidance does the life, teachings, and ministry of Jesus offer us on this issue? 
• How does The UMC minister to LGBTQ people and their allies? 
• How will this decision affect the witness of The UMC and its effectiveness in reaching others for Christ, especially the younger generations? 
• Do we want our stand on this issue to be what United Methodists are known for? 
• Is there something greater than this one issue that should shape who we are and what we do? 

The decision facing the special session of General Conference is really not a simple black-and-white issue. It's not that simple.

Difficult Conversations - Painful Choices

We at First United Methodist Church, Arlington, are beginning to engage in what most people think are difficult conversations. These conversations focus on the Council of Bishops' report on A Way Forward. The presenting issue of this report is the issue of homosexuality in The United Methodist Church.

Conversations about issues are always difficult. Issues by nature polarize and divide. They require a position to be taken, for or against. Those positions, in turn, create an "us versus them" scenario.

Two factors (certainly there are more than two) contribute to our struggle with the polarization around issues.

First, we are relational beings. We were created to live in relationship. Polarization is painful because it touches this deep need to live in relationship, to be connected with others.

The way we commonly seek relationship is through sameness. We associate with those like us - that "birds of a feather" thing. We seek connection through things we have in common. When it comes to issues, sameness translates into agreement: we think alike; we have the same position on an issue. When we build our relationships on sameness or agreement, we struggle with differences (diversity). We have difficulty relating to those who are not like us or who think differently than us.

The second factor in our struggle is also inherent to our human condition: we naturally think in terms of winning and losing ... and we like to win! This inclination leads us to view the two positions associated with an issue and judge one position to be right and the other wrong. And, again, we like to be right!  But winning means the other loses. Winning-losing thinking contributes to the pain of polarization.

These two factors not only contribute to the pain of polarization around issues, they also contribute to those times when polarization becomes destructive. Polarization is destructive when a person is willing to sacrifice a relationship for the sake of his/her position. It is also destructive when one person seeks to impose his/her position on others as "the right" position. As The United Methodist Church deals with the Way Forward report, different groups have talked about both of these actions. If either or both of these actions are taken, The UMC will experience some degree of splintering. The polarization will become not just painful, but destructive.

Is there another way to deal with this issue and its inherent polarizing nature? Do we have to agree in order to live in relationship? Does one position have to be "right" for everyone?

These deeper questions will be a part of our conversations at FUMCA.