Either-Or Thinking Is Killing Us

One of the characteristics of election cycles, such as we are in, is the abundance of either-or thinking. Either-or thinking is simplistic thinking. It attempts to reduce complex issues into either-or, black-or-white, right-or-wrong propositions. Sadly, life and the issues it raises are not that simple. 

(Full disclosure: this blog was prompted by a post that identified where each political party stood on a variety of hot-button issues. The post was inaccurate, in my opinion, designed to inflame angry reactions that would sway the reader to support the position of the person who posted the information. It successfully stirred a reaction in me - by its inaccuracy.) 

It seems to me, simplistic, either-or thinking does not help us. It seems to me to contribute to the problem rather than helping us resolve it. 

Simplistic, either-or propositions create emotional reactions. It seems to me they are designed for that purpose: to create an emotional reaction. They traffic in fear. The reactions they elicit are fear-based reactions. Fear of the other. Fear of differences. Fear of what will happen if the other position prevails. (Did you notice how both political conventions appealed to this particular fear?) Fear of change. Fear of anything that challenges my truth. Fear of the loss of my sense of being right and the standing I enjoy in it. Simplistic, either-or thinking traffics in fear in an effort to gain support for a particular party and to defeat the opposing party. 

In appealing to fear, either-or propositions short-circuit thinking, particularly mature thinking guided by principled truth. It seems to me the complexity of every issue calls for mature thinking, not fear-driven, emotional reactivity. 

Simplistic, either-or propositions polarize, creating an us-them mentality. They create an environment poisoned with "I'm right ... you're wrong" attitudes. They create a win-lose environment that discounts the other, devalues the other's experience, and dismisses the other's perspective. They are designed to promote a reality shaped by my way of thinking. They are an attempt to impose my will and my way on others. They pit us against one another, preventing us from working with one another. They are a obstacle to honest dialogue in the pursuit of mutual understanding and "the common good." They are a barrier to the broader, more encompassing perspective that diverse thought makes possible. 

It seems to me that those who promote simplistic, either-or thinking often come across as arrogant. They go beyond stating a position. They declare "I'm right!" But they don't stop there. They go the next step of discounting what the other thinks and demeaning them for thinking it: "You're wrong! I can't believe you could believe that. How stupid can you be! You're an idiot for not thinking like me." They, of course, do not recognize the arrogance in what they say, exhibiting little or no self-awareness. This arrogance reflects the fear behind their position. It reflects their need to protect their truth and the world as they view it. (My professor would say, "if your truth can be destroyed, it needs to be.") It blocks their ability to hear the other's perspective. It stifles any sense of empathy or compassion for the other. It keeps them stuck in a narrow way of thinking. 

Pick any issue: abortion, racism, white privilege, Black Lives Matter, police brutality, support of the police, law and order,  protests, respect for our national history (statues of Confederate heroes), respect for our military (symbolized in respect for the flag), personal liberties, the second amendment right to bear arms, wearing of masks during a pandemic, Nationalism and American exceptionalism, a capitalistic economy that demands that each person stand on their own two feet, welfare, health care, education, the sanctity of marriage and traditional Christian values/morals, LGBTQ+ issues, the place of prayer in schools, Christian religious symbols on government property. The list goes on and on. 

In our current national environment, each of these issues is generally presented as an either-or issue. Such simplistic thinking ignores the many layers involved in the issue. It demands a right-and-wrong response. It creates a win-lose proposition. It drives wedges between us. It demonizes the other and discounts their perspective and life experience. It pits us against one another. It denies the gifts of diversity. It robs us of our strength. It weakens us as a nation. It leads us to misplace our energies and our focus. It leaves the underlying (real) issues unaddressed and unresolved. 

It seems to me, simplistic, either-or thinking is killing us as a nation. 

The Thing about Law and Order

One of the inevitable results of the polarization in our nation is us-them, either-or, right-wrong thinking. Complex issues are treated as black-and-white issues with either-or solutions. 

This kind of us-them, either-or, right-wrong thinking is fundamentally self-serving. It allows us to blame the other for the problem, making them responsible for fixing it. (Fixing it means doing things our way.) It exempts us from any responsibility - for the problem, for fixing the problem, for helping, for caring. It makes us "right" and validates our anger-condemnation-judgment of the other. It shields us from having to do any self-reflection or exercise any self-awareness. It allows us to avoid the hard work of thinking. It frees us from having to feel compassion or empathy for the other. It does not require us to change. It means we win and the other loses. 

Us-them, either-or, right-wrong thinking creates a false dichotomy. The choices it presents are not real.

One of the false dichotomies being promoted today is law and order versus protests ... All Lives Matter and Blue Lives Matter versus Black Lives Matter ... Back the Blue versus Defund the Police. This false dichotomy pits those who support police, representing law and order, against those who protest the misuse (abuse) of police authority and power. Both sides paint with a broad stroke that ignores the multiple layers involved in the issue. Both sides struggle to hear the concerns and fears of the other. 

This one false dichotomy is but one of many being tossed about during this presidential election cycle. The only thing such false dichotomies and their underlying us-them, either-or, right-wrong thinking produce is more rigid polarization. Resolution that addresses the concerns of both sides (yes, it is possible) calls for better, more mature thinking.

Just as healthy boundaries are a prerequisite for healthy relationships, so structure (law and order) is an important part of any society. But those of us who advocate for law and order tend to overlook a fundamental feature of law and order functioning: law and order works to the advantage of those who have power, position, and wealth. It often works to the disadvantage of those who have little power, position, or wealth. In our society, law and order supports a culture structured by white people for the advantage of white people because white people have been the majority. (This reality underlies the concept of white privilege that white people struggle to recognize.) As diversity grows in our nation, this aspect of law and order functioning is being challenged.  

The protests that have occurred this summer are not about law and order. They are fundamentally about power and place ... or, more specifically, about the lack of power and standing black people have (and have historically had) in American society. 

Blacks are not the only ones who have held a "one down" position in American society. Throughout our nation's history, other groups have been denied equal standing and opportunity guaranteed by the constitution: Chinese, Irish, Blacks, Hispanics, immigrants from non-European nations, Muslims, gays, the poor. Those in positions of power and affluence (read: white people and the affluent) have historically used their power against these groups, in effect telling them to "stay in your place." That place is a place of disadvantage, without power or voice or standing. Protests are an attempt to claim what the constitution proclaims: equal standing under the law. 

It seems to me those who advocate law and order today are those who have enjoyed the advantages law and order provides. They are predominantly white and affluent and older. They are quick to defend the symbols of our nation, particularly the flag and the military. They unapologetically speak of our nation's greatness. They are quick to label the victims of police brutality as criminals (as though criminal activity justified their experience of an excessive use of power). They complain "If they would just obey the law, they wouldn't get in trouble with the police!" They have never been followed, viewed with suspicion, treated with disrespect, stopped, or questioned (profiled) because of the color of their skin. Thus, they cannot conceptualize such a reality, much less empathize with it.

It seems to me those who have dared to protest are those who have not enjoyed the advantages of law and order. They have experienced law and order as authority and power used unfairly against them. They and members of their family have been profiled by police and people in positions of power. The only voice they have is that of protest. (Those who advocate for law and order argue that their vote is their voice. They overlook the way the votes of Blacks have been and are being suppressed.) 

The law and order position almost always represents the status quo ... the way things have always been ... to the advantage of those who have power, standing, and affluence. In order for all to enjoy equal standing under the law (as promised by our constitution), the law and order status quo must be willing to hear and honor the voices of those who have little or no power, standing, or voice in the status quo. The law and order status quo must be willing to hear the message being voiced by the protests. In order to hear what is being said, the law and order status quo must move beyond being reactive and defensive to being open and responsive. In other words, it must be willing to die to its current reality in order to grow into a more mature expression of what law and order could be ... for all. 

An interesting feature of today's protests is the involvement of people who would be classified as white, many of whom are younger people. The awareness that law and order does not serve all people equally is being recognized and challenged by more than those in a "one down" position. A more mature society may yet evolve. 

Many (most) of those who advocate for law and order identify themselves as Christians. They seemingly fail to recognize the prophetic voices of their Hebrew tradition that confronted the abuses of power and affluence in the nations of Israel and Judah. These voices advocated for the poor and the powerless - those in a "one down" position in their society. They seemingly forget that Jesus empowered the powerless. He treated every person with dignity and worth, particularly those who were treated with disrespect by those in positions of power. Jesus opposed systems that took advantage of others. He challenged social customs that kept people in positions of powerlessness and disadvantage. He challenged the accumulation of wealth at the expense of others, self-indulgence to the neglect of others, and wealth-based standing and status. In other words, Jesus challenged the law and order status of his society. 

Which raises the question: would Jesus align with the law and order position in our society or with those who are in a powerless, disadvantaged "one down" position? 

Which raises another question: what position does the Church take? and what is the rationale for that position?

These are hard questions - questions that call for mature thinking, not simplistic, either-or, polarizing answers. 

Shooting at the Wrong Target

I have grieved the deep polarization in our nation and struggled to understand it. The rancor with which it is expressed is disturbing. The anger seems to be more than just being angry. Our anger is extreme, reactionary, irrational ... often bordering on hatred. In our anger, we attack the other, not just their position. We demonize the other. We judge, condemn, discount, demean, and seek to destroy. We unleash the whole arsenal of our anger at those we now view as the enemy. Gone is any effort to hear and understand the other, much less any sense of compassion or empathy for them. It is as though we are at war with one another. 

But it seems to me we are fighting the wrong war. We are attacking the wrong enemy. We are shooting at the wrong target. As a result, we are biting and devouring one another (as Paul said in Galatians 5:15). We are in a self-destruct mode. 

As I struggle to understand this polarization and rancor, it seems to me we are avoiding the real issue. As a result, we are displacing our anger. 

Anger is a mask that fear wears. Thus, our national anger is really the face of fear ... fear of what we believe we are losing. Our fear and anger are dimensions of grief ... grief we do not recognize because we have not recognized or named what we have lost.  

We as a culture do not do well with loss or grief. In the case of a death, we are at a loss for what to say or what to do. We are accustomed to being able to fix things, but there is no way to fix the pain of losing someone we love. So we mumble empty platitudes that make us feel better but which do nothing to touch the other's pain. We fill the other's kitchen with more food than they could ever eat - perhaps in an attempt to fill the empty space in their hearts created by the death of the one they love. We tip our hat at the loss with sanitized funeral services, rushing past the death as quickly as possible. Our haste isolates the person who experienced the loss, condemning them to cope alone. 

Beyond the death of a loved one, we experience losses of all shapes and sizes all the time, but we have not been taught - or given permission - to recognize those losses, name them, and grieve them. We have been told to "suck it up" and get on with life. As a result, we live with the emotional pain of unrecognized and unaddressed losses that have piled up through the years. We live with a boatload of unresolved grief. 

It seems to me our personal experience of unresolved loss and grief is duplicated in our national experience of loss and grief. The losses we have experienced in my lifetime pile up, one on top of the other: the assassinations of President Kennedy, of MLK, of Bobby Kennedy; Viet Nam; the civil rights movement; the Challenger explosion. 

In more recent days, 9-11 shook our nation to the core. Our sense of safeness, our (mistaken) sense of invincibility, our sense of being exceptional in the world, our very identity as a nation was lost. But we never took time to identify these losses, much less grieve them. Instead, we declared war on terrorism, surrendered personal liberties to government overreach, and began to adopt an isolationist mentality. (Donald Trump's "America First" policies are the inevitable product of this isolationist thinking.) Because terrorism was such a nebulous target, we ended up shooting at the wrong target by attacking Saddam Hussein and invading Iraq. 

9-11 is not the only identity-shattering loss we as a nation have experienced but not grieved. The Supreme Court's decision to recognize gay marriage struck at the heart of what many considered "the sanctity of marriage." The Black Lives Matter movement pointed out the problem of police profiling and police brutality against blacks, attacking the respected symbol of law and order. Colin Kaepernick's kneeling during the national anthem to call attention to police brutality was interpreted as a disrespect for the flag and the military, both symbols of national pride. The nation elected its first black president (who was opposed and vilified at every turn - a not-so-subtle expression of 21st century racism). The white-based, white-dominated, white-oriented culture with which many of us grew up was (is) giving way to greater diversity. Outside the urban area, family farms have been swallowed up by large scale corporations. Rural communities are shriveling up and dying. (The community in which I grew up is an example.) In short, we as a nation are experiencing seismic change that involves the loss of the way things were. All the while, we continued to fight a war on terrorism in strange places like Afghanistan, sacrificing the lives of American soldiers in yet another war we cannot win. 

In the face of such significant losses, we have reacted with anger, shooting at the wrong target. We are attacking the wrong "enemy" and fighting the wrong war. We have turned on each other. The Religious Right has joined hands with the Republican Party to lead the attack against "the liberal left wing that is destroying our way of life." The liberal left, in turn, has attacked the radical right-wing nationalists as the problem. As a result, the nation is polarized in a new civil war to determine which side will dictate what the new norm will be for our country. One side wants to reverse what is happening in an effort to go back to a white-dominated culture of the 1950's; the other wants to move forward into greater diversity in which people of all colors enjoy the promises of our constitution. 

And then you add the COVID pandemic - a faceless virus that lurks in hiding, waiting to ambush us at every turn. It has robbed us of so much - primarily the freedom to do as we please but also our normal routines and activities, our contact with one another, our ability to worship together, our jobs and income (for some), our economy as a nation, our schools and the freedom to send our kids to school without fear, our ability to celebrate weddings and graduations, the opportunity to celebrate a life that has ended, etc. Normally, when we are struggling or hurting, we can turn to one another for support and encouragement. But the pandemic's shelter-in-place restrictions have isolated us from one another. And we all are experiencing the same struggles at the same time. We have little left over to help one another even if we were not isolated. 

Our reaction to the pandemic is in line with our grief-avoiding pattern as a nation. We politicized the shelter-in-place restrictions and the wearing of masks. We allowed the pandemic to fuel the polarization. Rather than recognizing and grieving our losses, we turned on one another in anger. We attacked one another. We shot at the wrong target. 

The healthy response to these many losses is grief - the recognition, naming, and grieving of what we have lost. Healthy grieving helps us come to terms with what we loss and helps us turn loose of it. The failure to grieve keeps us stuck in pain and fear and anger. 

Grief is a powerless feeling. After all, we can't undo the loss. And we don't like being powerless. It leaves us feeling vulnerable to more loss. It gives birth to fear inside us. Anger, on the other hand, gives us a sense of power. So instead of grieving what we have loss and feeling afraid of more losses, we get angry. In our anger, we stop thinking clearly or rationally. We attack one another with our anger. We end up shooting at the wrong target.

I believe we as a culture are stuck in unrecognized and unresolved long-term grief. It is one of the factors in our polarization - a major factor in my mind. We have once again misdirected our anger and are shooting at the wrong target: each other.

We have no way to win a war when we are fighting the wrong war. As long as are fighting the wrong enemy, our energies are wasted. We will never resolve anything.  We will only end up destroying selves and the thing we are fighting to protect: our nation. 

Perhaps we need to reclaim the Hebrew practice of lament - giving voice to our grief in the context of worship. 60 of the 150 psalms (40%) are lament psalms. 

I believe we as a nation need to grieve ... with each other ... lest we destroy each other because we are shooting at the wrong target.

Prophets and Other Troublemakers

 Prophets are an important part of our Judaeo-Christian heritage. So much so that their works make up a significant part of our scriptures. 16 of the 39 books in the Hebrew scriptures - the Christian Old Testament - are the writings/works of prophets. (The book of Isaiah is the work of three different prophets, so add two more to the list.) The works of Elijah and Elisha, the first two prophets in Hebrew history, take up a major part of 1 & 2 Kings. Prophesy (preaching) is one of the identified gifts of the Spirit (1 Corinthians 12:28). And then there's that great book at the end of the New Testament which many interpret (falsely) as prophecy about the end of time - Revelation. 

The importance we give to the prophets is seen in their place in worship. In synagogue worship, one of the readings each Sabbath was/is from the prophets. That pattern is frequently followed in liturgical churches that follow the common lectionary. Each set of lectionary readings includes a reading from the prophets, along with a reading from the Psalms, the gospels, and the epistles.

We value the work of the prophets ... at least prophets from the past ... not necessarily modern day prophets. 

Prophets were/are troublemakers. King Ahab called Elijah "you troubler of Israel" (1 Kings 18:17). The priest Amaziah attempted to silence Amos because his prophecies were disturbing to the people. They challenged the king and his policies (Amos 7:10-15). 

Prophets are troublemakers because they challenge the status quo. The disrupt the way things are.

Perhaps that's why we like the prophets of old but attack prophets of our own day. Jesus identified this pattern among the religious leaders of his day: "Woe to you! You build the tombs of the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous, and you say, 'If we had lived in the days of our ancestors, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of prophets.' ... Therefore I send you prophets, sages, and scribes, some of whom you will kill and crucify, and some you will flog in your synagogues and pursue from town to town" (Matthew 23:29-10, 34). 

Like those of Jesus's day, we glorify the prophets of old but crucify modern day prophets.

We glorify the prophets of old but crucify modern day prophets because they challenge the status quo. They disrupt the way things are. They disturb our way of life. They mess with our comfort zones. They attack our sacred cows. We view them as troublemakers. We condemn them for daring to question what we consider sacred. We punish them for not keeping step with the party line. 

A glaring example of this disregard for modern day prophets is the repeated reaction to the protests going on in our culture. From Colin Kaepernick to the Black Lives Matter to Defund the Police protests, the knee-jerk reaction is predictable: outrage, condemnation, attack, attempts to discredit, resistance to what they are saying and attempting to do, punish. 

Such reactions are our attempts to maintain the status quo, to defend our way of life, to protect what we consider sacred. 

I describe such reactions as knee-jerk reactions. In other words, these reactions are unthinking. The mind is not engaged. We are reacting out of anger that someone would dare challenge the status quo. Our anger masks our fear. We are afraid of losing something we value - our comfort with the status quo. We are afraid of losing our way of life.

Such reactions indicate we are not hearing what the prophets (i.e., protesters) are saying. 

Protests are an attempt to say something that people who enjoy the status quo don't want to hear. They give voice to those who have no voice in the status quo. Protests, by the way, are a vital part of our national heritage - from the Boston Tea party to the marches for women's right to vote to the marches for civil rights to today's protests of police profiling of and brutality against blacks by declaring Black Lives Matter. 

An example of our inability (or unwillingness) to hear is our reaction to pro athletes kneeling during the national anthem. Those of us who enjoy the privileges of the status quo view their kneeling as a disrespect for the flag and for the military. We are outraged and condemn them for daring to be so disrespectful. Our outrage blocks our ability to hear what they are saying: black people do not enjoy the full liberties our flag represents. 

Prophets, protesters, and other troublemaker are saying something we don't want to hear. They are saying the status quo doesn't work for them. They are saying the privileges we enjoy from the status quo are denied to them. In a nation whose founding document says "all men are created equal," they are saying they are not being treated as equals.   

We struggle to hear what these prophets and protesters are saying because their experience is not ours. We enjoy the privileges of the status quo. We struggle to understand that they don't enjoy the same privileges. We struggle to hear what these prophets and protesters are saying because they are calling for change. If we hear and acknowledge the truth of what they say, we have to change and how we function has to change and our nation has to change. If we hear and acknowledge the truth of what they say, we have to surrender the status we have enjoyed as white people in a culture structured for the benefit of white people at the expense of people of color because it is dominated by white people. 

No wonder we don't like modern day prophets. 

An ironic aspect of our reaction to these modern day prophets and troublemakers is they are saying exactly the same thing the prophets of old said - the ones we glorify - just using different words. The prophets of old called for economic equity, condemning the affluence of a few at the expense of the many (Amos 4:1). The prophets of old called for justice, power used on behalf of the powerless and marginalized people (Isaiah 1:17). The prophets of old called for righteousness that took care of all (Isaiah 1:10-17). 

Perhaps the reason we struggle to hear, much less accept, the word of these modern day prophets is because the prophetic word is no longer valued in our churches today. We want to hear what we already believe, not truth that challenges our beliefs. We want to hear messages that entertain and comfort, not truth that disturbs and disrupts. We don't want to hear words that confront, challenge, or call for change. Could it be our worship has become just another expression of the status quo we enjoy rather than a place to hear God's call to be an agent for change in the world? 

Jesus - the one we call Lord and profess to follow - taught us to pray, "thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." For the kingdom to come on earth, we need prophets and other troublemakers who speak a word from God ... even if the word is one we don't want to hear. 

Merciful God, may we be willing to hear and heed the words of your prophets ... in whatever trouble-making form they come to us!

Busy, Busy, Busy - Not So Much These Days

Busy, busy, busy - not so much these days.

One thing the COVID 19 pandemic has exposed is our national addiction to being busy. The sheltering-in-place mandates have disrupted and displaced all of the things we once did to fill our time. And the resulting time-on-our hands has left many (most?) of us feeling restless, antsy, anxious, and unfulfilled. We are hard pressed to fill our days in meaningful ways. What do we do with ourselves and with our time without our normal routines,  involvements, and relationships? How do we fill our time? It seems we are stuck with ourselves and we don't like the company we are keeping.

What does our restlessness tell us about ourselves? What does it tell us about our addiction to being busy?

Our restlessness points to how deeply we have bought into the philosophy of our society that values productivity over everything else, that values doing over being. We have tied our sense of value to what we do, especially to what we produce. We interpret being busy as an indicator of importance. Being busy has become a merit badge we proudly wear to validate that we have significance. What is the source of our value when we can no longer work or be productive?

Our restlessness points to our discomfort with being alone or with being still (a by-product of this productivity-oriented, doing-oriented philosophy). We are social beings. We were created for relationship. Consequently, we are prone to tie our sense of self to our relationships with others, to the roles we play in relationship to others, and to the work we do. As a result, we don't know who we are when we are not with others or fulfilling our normal roles or working. We don't know who we really are which translates into not knowing how to simply be.

Our restlessness points to our lack of understanding of or comfort with the interior realm of our lives. Being busy keeps our focus on the external realm which consists of events and doing. It allows us to avoid dealing with what lives beneath the surface of our lives.

Our restlessness raises the question: what are we seeking to avoid by staying so busy? What inner demons are we running from? Anxiety (archaic fear) is a factor in all of our lives. We all live with deep-seated fears about being inadequate or powerless, about having no significance or value, about being rejected or abandoned, about being hurt or dying. Those fears drive our lives even though we are not consciously aware of them. When we are still or alone, these old issues tend to raise their ugly heads. Staying busy is one way we avoid them and the pain they stir.

Our restlessness points to our failure to practice Sabbath. The Hebrew word translated as sabbath carries the meaning of ceasing, stopping.

The Hebrew people viewed the sabbath as a gift from God. It provided the opportunity to refocus, shifting attention and energies away from life's challenges back to God. It provided the opportunity to reorient, reminding them their true identity was rooted in their relationship with God, not in their circumstances or productivity. It provided the opportunity to silence the noise of the outer world so they could hear the voices of the inner (spiritual) world where the Spirit lives and works. It provided the opportunity to rest, especially rest from having to produce, as it reminded them of God's provision. It provided the opportunity to release anxiety, inviting them to trust God's faithfulness. For the Hebrew people, sabbath was a means of nurturing faith and trust in the God who had claimed them and redeemed them from their bondage.

Our restlessness - evidence of our addiction to being busy - points to our need to learn the lessons the sabbath teaches. It calls us to receive the gifts the sabbath offers.

In a sense, this COVID 19 pandemic is an imposed sabbath - a ceasing from normal routines and activities. And it seems that most of us don't like it. Some of us even refuse to observe it.

What would it take to learn the lessons and embrace the gifts this imposed sabbath has for us? What would it take to learn from our restlessness?