Beware of Pouring Cold Water on The Spirit

I don’t remember the specifics of my childhood experience, but I remember the feeling — which speaks of the deep impact the experience must have had on me. And I remember the experience was not an isolated one. It happened more than once although the specifics were different each time. Sadly, I fear my experience was not unique to me. My experience was an all-too-common childhood experience for many of my generation — especially those children who just couldn’t sit still or who couldn’t be quiet or whose mind was always jumping from one thought to the next or who were not naturally compliant rule followers who bent over backwards to please.

The experience has been described as “having cold water poured on you.” Cold water shocks you. It takes your breath, getting your attention and pulling you out of whatever you were doing. Too often, what we were doing as children was experiencing the joy of being alive … the unfettered freedom (read: lack of inhibition) of being a child … the excitement of engaging … the delight of discovering … the enthusiasm of creating … the fun that is the heart of playing.  The cold water came in the form of another’s — generally a parent’s or some other adult’s — response. Our joy, freedom, excitement, delight, enthusiasm (did you know the word enthusiasm is based on two Greek words meaning “God in us”), fun were met with criticism and reprimand. Perhaps we were being too loud or we didn’t raise our hand to be called on before speaking or we were too active and rambunctious in the house. The adult’s intent was to pull us out of what we were doing. It was to get us to stop what we were doing so our behavior conformed to the adult’s expectations. But the impact went far beyond what we were doing. It quenched the spirit. It squelched the joy, displaced freedom with fear, dampened the excitement, extinguished the delight, took the air out of the enthusiasm, killed the fun. It was like pouring water on a fire, extinguishing it. It was death dealing and spirit breaking.

This kind of childhood experience is what comes to mind when I read Paul’s admonition: “Do not quench the Spirit” (1 Thessalonians 5:19). What did Paul mean?

Paul’s exhortation comes in midst of his final admonitions in his first letter to the Thessalonians: “respect those who labor among you (i.e., your spiritual leaders) … be at peace among yourselves … admonish the idlers, encourage the faint hearted, help the weak, be patience with all of them … do not repay evil for evil but always seek to do good … rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances … do not despise the words of prophets … abstain from every form of evil” (1 Thessalonians 5:12-22). These admonitions were instructions about how to live as the people of God, as the followers of Jesus. Notice how challenging these things were. Review the list, identifying which ones you do naturally or easily. The key to doing any of them was/is the Spirit.

The Spirit teaches us the ways of God that Jesus taught — the renewing of the mind (Romans 12:2). The Spirit guides us to put those ways into practice in the specifics of our lives. The Spirit deals with those things within us in — in our hearts — that keep us from living the ways of God. The Spirit provides the wisdom of “how to.”  The Spirit empowers us to live them. In short, the Spirit is the key to living the exhortations Paul made … which is why he, in the midst of the exhortations, added “Do not quench the Spirit.” Don’t pour cold water on what the Spirit is doing in you.

Which raises the question: how do we quench the Spirit? How do we pour cold water on what the Spirit is doing? We quench the Spirit whenever we resist what the Spirit is seeking to do in our lives … whenever we resist the truth the Spirit is presenting to us … whenever we refuse to follow the Spirit’s nudging … whenever we refuse to examine our thinking or what is in our hearts … whenever we cling to old ways rather than follow the Spirit’s leading … whenever we live out of fear rather than the boldness of faith. We quench the Spirit whenever we say “NO!” to the Spirit’s work in our lives.

A second question needs to be asked: what happens when we quench the Spirit? The image answers our question. Something is put out … but that “something” is not the Spirit. The Spirit does not quit working. God never gives up on us or abandons us. The “something” that is put out is something in us. Our resistance to the Spirit impacts our sensitivity to the Spirit, our awareness of the Spirit, our openness to the Spirit, our responsiveness to the Spirit, our willingness to respond to the Spirit’s work. Bottom line: we miss out on the Spirit’s transforming work in our lives. We fail to grow spiritually. We get stuck in a condition of spiritual immaturity (Hebrews 5:11-6:1). 

But quenching the Spirit is not the full story. Quenching the Spirit does not just impact us. It impacts the heart of God.

The writer of Ephesians exhorted his readers, “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God” (Ephesians 4:30).  

This exhortation in Ephesians is part of the writer’s teaching about putting off the old nature and putting on the new nature, patterned after the likeness of Christ (Ephesians 4:22-24).  This transformation happens as we are “renewed in the spirit of your minds” (Ephesians 4:23), that is, as the character of God and the ways of God begin to shape our thinking — part of the Spirit’s work. This transformation leads to changes in our behavior. Verses 24-32 provide five specific examples of this putting off of old behavior, replacing it with Christ-shaped living. This transformation of nature, expressed in a change in how we live, is the work of the Spirit. When we cling to old behaviors, habits, and patterns, we resist the Spirit’s transforming work. We quench the Spirit. We grieve the Spirit.

Our resistance to the Spirit’s work in our lives, i.e., quenching the Spirit, grieves the Spirit. It creates pain in the heart of God. God longs for us to grow up spiritually into the likeness of Christ (Ephesians 4:13-14). The Spirit works to bring us to that maturity. The Spirit works to transform our hearts and minds, conforming us to the image of Christ. Our resistance to that transforming work grieves the Spirit. It breaks the heart of God. And it leaves us stuck in spiritual immaturity.

Do not quench the Spirit. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.

Filled with the Spirit

 

It is one in a long series of exhortations about living as a follower of Jesus — live in love, live as children of light, live as those who are wise. In the face of a barrage of exhortations (the writer of Ephesians was not the only preacher to get carried away with telling others how to live), it is easy to tune out the specifics of the exhortations. After all, such barrages can be overwhelming, the expectations seemingly impossible to measure up to. They often stir feelings of failure and inadequacy, leading us to settle for the mediocrity of “as best I can.” But this particular exhortation has to do with the Spirit: ‘be filled with the Spirit” (Ephesians 5:18).

What did the biblical writer mean by ‘be filled with the Spirit”?

The exhortation falls under the category of living as those who are wise (Ephesians 5:15-21). In this section, the writer calls us to live as those who “understand what the will of the Lord is” (Ephesians 5:17). He defines being wise as knowing the ways of God — the way of self-giving, servant love, the way of grace and forgiveness, etc. — and allowing that knowledge to shape how we live in the specific relationships and situations of our lives, i.e., the will of God. That’s when the exhortation about the Spirit comes in: “be filled with the Spirit.” This context helps us to understand the writer’s meaning.

The Spirit is the one who teaches us the ways of God and who guides us in how to live those ways in our own lives. Thus, to be filled with the Spirit is to allow the Spirit to guide us in living the ways of God in our relationships. It is to live under the influence of the Spirit.

This “under the influence” meaning is reinforced by the fuller exhortation: “do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery; but be filled with the Spirit.” When we are drunk, we are under the influence of the alcohol. The alcohol affects what we say and do is. To be filled with the Spirit is to allow the Spirit to shape what we say and do. Being under the influence of the Spirit means we will live the ways of God — the way of self-giving, servant love, the way of grace and forgiveness, etc. Or, to use the words of Ephesians, we will “be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). We will live out of a servant spirit, giving ourselves for the good of the other.

Some teach that to be filled with the Spirit is to be able to speak in tongues (1 Corinthians 12:10, 14:4-19) — a special prayer language. For them, speaking in tongues is evidence that one is under the influence of the Spirit. This understanding of what it means to be filled with the Spirit overlooks the Spirit’s primary work: to transform our hearts and minds, conforming us to the likeness of Christ, so that we love as Jesus loved and love those Jesus loved. A servant spirit, reflected in the ability to love as Jesus loved, is the real indicator that we are filled with the Spirit, not the gift of a special prayer language.

The exhortation to be filled with the Spirit raises a second question: how? How are we filled with the Spirit?

Being filled with the Spirit is not something we do. It is something that is done to us (note the verb is passive). We are the recipients of the filling. The Spirit is the one doing the action. The Spirit fills us. We cannot command or orchestrate or manipulate the Spirit into filling us. We can only receive the Spirit’s work.

What we can do is place ourselves in a position to receive. We can place ourselves in a position for the Spirit to fill us. We do so by cultivating an attitude of openness to the Spirit. We seek to be aware of the Spirit and the Spirit’s movement in our hearts and minds. We pay attention to the interior realm where the Spirit lives and works. In addition, we embrace a spirit of glad dependency upon the Spirit. Knowing that in our own strength we cannot love as Jesus loves, we turn to the Spirit for guidance in how to love as Jesus loved as well as for the strength to do so. Prayer as meditation is a spiritual practice that cultivates these two attitudes.

The author of Ephesians points to the importance of worship and spiritual community in cultivating these attitudes of openness to the Spirit and dependency on the Spirit. The writer linked being filled with the Spirit with “psalms and hymns and spiritual songs” sung together out of a spirit of thanksgiving in a spiritual community (Ephesians 5:19-20).

The writer of Ephesians reminds us that to be a follower of Jesus is to embrace a different way of life, one shaped by and patterned after the ways of God. We are to live as beloved children who live in love, imitating God (Ephesians 5:1-2), as children of light (Ephesians 5:8) who forsake the ways of darkness), as those who are wise because they understand the will of the Lord (Ephesians 5:15). The writer also reminds us that the Spirit is the key to living this God-shaped way of life. The Spirit teaches us the ways of God, guides us in how to live them in the specifics of our lives, and empowers us to do what we cannot do in our own strength.

If we are to live the ways of God, we must be filled with the Spirit. We must learn to live under the influence of the Spirit.

The Spirit's Role in Prayer

 It’s one of those statements — actually an exhortation, a command — that is easily overlooked. It comes at the end of the letter, after the main theme had been laid to rest and the author was bringing his letter to a close. It’s one of those last comments that we often overlook. In fact, we generally skip over it. But when we reflect on it, we find it to be full of wisdom that can enrich our spiritual lives. It teaches us how to pray.

“Pray in the Spirit” (Ephesians 6:18).

Some understand praying in the Spirit to refer to the phenomenon known as speaking in tongues — a prayer language some people experience. But this exhortation suggests there is more to praying in the Spirit than speaking in tongues. This exhortation teaches us the Spirit plays a vital role in our praying.

The Spirit prompts us to pray, stirring our sense of need to pray as well as our desire to pray. The Spirit assures us that God accepts us unconditionally, freeing us from being hesitant or timid about coming to God in prayer (Romans 8:14-16). The Spirit cultivates the confidence to pray boldly, teaching us to trust God’s delight in giving and generosity in doing so.

“Pray in the Spirit” calls us to allow the Spirit to guide our prayer. In his letter to the church at Corinth, Paul said the Spirit searches “the depths of God” (1 Corinthians 2:10). The Spirit knows the heart and mind of God. Thus, the Spirit knows “what is truly God’s” (1 Corinthians 2:11). The Spirit’s role is to lead us to know God and the ways of God (1 Corinthians 2:12). The Spirit also guides us in connecting with God. The Spirit helps us align our prayers with the will of God. (That’s what it means to pray “in Jesus’s name.” We pray with the spirit of Jesus, in harmony with the will of God.)

When we do not consciously involve the Spirit in our praying, our prayers tend to become monologues. We are like the person who talks non-stop, moving from one topic or story to the next, seemingly not even stopping to take a breath. These people dominate every conversation. In doing so, they control the relationship and keep the focus on themselves. Without the Spirit, we do all the talking when we pray. We control the relationship. And we keep the focus on ourselves. Our prayers tend to be little more than reciting the grocery list of things we want God to do. Without the Spirit, our prayers become something we do — a task — rather than a relationship we enjoy. They become just another item on our “to do” list.

 “Pray in the Spirit” calls us to consciously and intentionally involve the Spirit when we pray. What does that look like? We begin by stilling our hearts and minds. “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). We do not rush into prayer. We center ourselves so that we can focus on connecting with God. I use controlled, slow, deep breathing to help me become still. Then we ask the Spirit to guide our thoughts as we pray. As we sit in the stillness, we pay attention to where our thoughts go, seeking to understand what the Spirit wants us to see. We are making space for God to speak. We are listening to what God says through the Spirit. When we share our petitions and concerns, we take time to be still afterwards, seeking to discern the Spirit’s guidance. Even after our prayer time is “over,” we continue to be attuned to what the Spirit brings to mind. Prayer becomes a dialogue that continues through the day.

Prayer is not one of the things we generally associate with the Spirit, but the Spirit guides us into deep, meaningful connection — and conversation! — with God.

God's Earnest Money

In negotiating a contract to purchase a home, a buyer makes a down payment to the seller. The down payment is the buyer’s pledge that he will fulfill the contract and purchase the home. This upfront money is evidence that the sale will be completed. It provides the seller assurance during the time it takes to finalize the transaction. In the real estate world, this upfront money is called earnest money. 

In the letter to the Ephesians, the biblical writer spoke of the Spirit as God’s pledge — the word in the original means earnest money — given to us regarding our redemption (Ephesians 1:14). The Spirit is God’s down payment guaranteeing the completion of God’s transforming work in our lives.

The Spirit is God’s mark on our lives, identifying us as God’s children (Ephesians 1:13). The Spirit’s work in our lives — whether cleansing our guilt with forgiveness or giving us peace that quietens our anxiety or sustaining us in the face of suffering or granting insight into the ways of God or providing power to do what we cannot do in our own strength or empowering us to love as Jesus loves — assures us that we are God’s children. Such assurance stirs hope (Romans 5:5) — the hope of sharing God’s glory, that is, God’s character (Romans 5:2). The Spirit’s work in our lives is concrete evidence that God is making good on God’s promise to bring us to Christ-like maturity. The Spirit is God’s pledge — earnest money — that God will not stop working until our salvation — the transformation of our heart and mind — is complete.

Such assurance and hope sustain us on our journey. In the midst of suffering, in the face of yet another failure, as we wrestle with that persistent, recurring sin, as we struggle with the frustrations of our still-in-process nature, the Spirit’s presence in our lives assures us of God’s faithful love that does not give up on us or abandon us. The Spirit’s presence reminds us that God works to transform these challenges into greater strength and personal growth (Romans 5:2-5).

The Spirit is God’s down payment — earnest money — assuring us that God will complete the transformation of our hearts and minds. The outcome of our salvation is certain. We will be like Jesus (1 John 3:2), measuring up to the full stature of Christ (Ephesians 4:13).

With God’s earnest money in our pocket, we press on (Philippians 3:12), confident in the ultimate outcome.

The Fruit of the Spirit is ... Peace

One of the nine traits the Apostle Paul identified as the fruit of the Spirit is peace — inner peace. Peace is what the Spirit produces in our lives as we walk in the Spirit (Galatians 5:16, 25), as we abide in Christ (John 15:1-11).

Both Jesus and Paul spoke of this inner peace. In John 14:27, Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.” In his letter to the Philippians, Paul spoke of “the peace of God which surpasses all understanding,” (Philippians 4:7). Both spoke of the unusual nature of the peace that comes from God. Paul described it as a peace that cannot be understood or explained from a human perspective. Jesus described it as a different kind of peace than what the world gives.

The peace of Christ is an inner reality. It is something we experience deep within, at the core of our being. It is an inner quietness, a deep-seated sense of well-being and safeness the Spirit creates deep within.

Peace displaces the anxiety that is an inherent part of our human condition. Anxiety is a nebulous feeling of unease or dis-ease that lies just beneath the surface of our lives. Anxiety is the twitching of the old fears. It is the unconscious anticipation of something that will hurt us the way we were hurt in the past. Anxiety is the default state of our inner lives. 

Peace, what Jesus called “my peace,” is what quietens anxiety with its nebulous feeling of dis-ease. It displaces the fear, stilling the inner turmoil and settling the inner restlessness. The peace of Christ sets us free from the power of anxiety, breaking its control over us. It sets us free from fear-based thinking and fear-based reactivity. It displaces our anxiety and fear … in the midst of the very situation that spawned the fear in the first place!

 Peace is not something we can manufacture or produce through self-effort. It is not something we can create or conjure up. It is what the Spirit’s produces in us. It is the result of the Spirit’s work.

While we cannot manufacture peace, we can place ourselves in a position for the Spirit to lead us into peace within.

The journey into peace begins with the awareness of the lack of peace. One would think that the recognition of this inner dis-ease we call anxiety would be easy, but it is not. Anxiety and fear are our “normal” setting and, thus, outside of our awareness. They are also automatic reactions within us. They happen without our thinking and, thus, outside our awareness. We have to learn to be aware of our anxiety and recognize our fear. 

The recognition of our anxiety and fear presents us with a choice. Do we continue to hold onto our fear (allowing it to hold onto us) or do we choose to move beyond it? Do we live out of our fear or do we choose to let go of it?

When we hold onto our fear, we give our fear control over us.  It holds us in its grip. It shapes our thinking and governs what we do.  Consequently, we react out of old patterns.  

So, the second step on the journey into peace is to manage the anxiety and fear. In John 14:27, where Jesus promised his peace, he said “do not let your hearts be troubled and do not let them be afraid.” In his letter to the Philippians, Paul exhorted them “do not worry about anything,” (Philippians 4:6). The original language in both texts carries the idea of stop, do not continue. Fear and anxiety are a normal part of our human condition. Jesus’ and Paul’s words do not instruct us to not feel the anxiety and fear. Such is not possible. Rather, they call us to not dwell in our anxiety and fear. “Do not continue to live in your fear, with your fear, and out of your fear.” They call us to move beyond our fear so that our fear does not dictate and control our lives.

Jesus and Paul called us to use our power to manage ourselves. Rather than attempting to control others or our situation, we manage what we are feeling along with the thinking that drives those feelings. We continue to live in fear and with fear only when we scare ourselves with our thinking. 

 We manage our anxiety and fear not by fighting them, not by resisting them, not by seeking to control them, but by naming them. We acknowledge them to God. We pray. In doing so, we put ourselves in a position for the Spirit to displace our anxiety with peace, to create an inner quietness in the place of our inner turmoil. Praying our fear is the third step on the journey that leads us into peace. 

The journey into peace follows the path of prayer. Through prayer, we remember, refocus, and reconnect with God so that we can rest in God’s faithful love. Prayer is the way we manage our fears.

In his letter to the Philippians, Paul wrote “Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Paul didn’t just say “don’t worry.” He exhorted his readers to manage their anxiety and fear. “Don’t continue to worry. You’re doing it. Stop!” And, then, he told them how to move beyond the worry into peace. He instructed them to pray. Pray the fear. Acknowledge it. Express it. Bring your requests to God. But Paul also instructed the Philippians in how to pray. They were to pray with thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is the key to moving beyond prayer driven by anxiety. 

Thanksgiving is rooted in remembering. It is looking over our shoulder at the past, remembering God’s faithfulness in past situations. Thanksgiving helps us to remember God and God’s faithfulness. It helps us remember how God was with us even when we couldn’t recognize God’s presence. It helps us remember how God strengthened and sustained us in the midst of our crisis. Thanksgiving helps us remember how God provided what we needed to deal with the crisis. It helps us remember how God transformed the experience, bring good out of evil, life out of death. Thanksgiving helps us recognize how God blessed us and matured us as we walked a road we would rather have not walked. Praying with thanksgiving helps us to remember. And, when we remember, we are in a position to reconnect with God.

Our fear and anxiety blind us to God.  When we are living out of our anxiety and fear, our attention is on the situation. We are focused on the circumstances and on others and on what we are afraid might happen.  In other words, our focus is not on God.  In the midst of our anxiety and fear, the Spirit calls us to refocus on God and, thereby, to reconnect with God.

The Spirit guides us to remember so we can refocus. As we refocus on God, we can reconnect with God. When we reconnect with God, we can then rest in God.

 Remember → Refocus → Reconnect → Rest 

 The Spirit leads us to rest in God’s faithful love. Resting involves choosing to let go of our fear and our need to be in control. It involves choosing to trust. This Spirit-directed remembering, this Spirit-directed refocusing, this Spirit-directed reconnecting, this Spirit-empowered resting allows us to experience deep within the kind of peace that passes all human ability to understand or explain it. 

 This journey into peace is not some magic formula that automatically makes everything better. It is a process … a journey.  It is a process of consciously shifting our focus from our situation to God, from frantically worrying about everything “out there” to managing what’s “in here,” from attempting to be in control to turning loose, from doing what we always do to resting. The journey into peace is choosing to trust God’s faithful love. It is choosing to live in glad dependency upon the Spirit

Peace is that inner quietness in the depth of our being that allows the joy of the Lord to flow in us and through us. As we learn to live with peace and out of peace, we can choose to love as Jesus loved. 

(This blog is adapted from my book The Fruit of the Spirit: the Path That Leads to Loving as Jesus Loved and my blog on December 6, 2020.)