Hate the Sin

It’s one of those pious statements church people often say. It has been repeated frequently in the splintering of The UMC over the LGBTQ+ issue. “Love the sinner; hate the sin.”

On the surface, it sounds right, but beneath the surface, it is deeply flawed.

On the surface, the statement appears to pass all of the theological tests. It proclaims love for the person while maintaining a strong moral stance against behavior labeled as sinful. It refuses to compromise a moral posture. In reality, the statement reflects the thinking of Western Evangelical Christianity rather than the spirit of Jesus.

Western Evangelical Christianity emphasizes belief and behavior. A Christian is someone who believes the right things about Jesus, the Bible, sin, etc. That belief is expressed in moral living coupled with faithful church involvement. This emphasis has at least one major flaw: it focuses upon externals, overlooking the heart — the interior realm — that was central to Jesus’s thinking.

“For it is from within, from the human heart, that evil intentions come,” Mark 7:21. Jesus rejected the scribes’ and Pharisees’ focus upon behavior, calling attention to what was in the human heart. The condition of the heart was the problem to be addressed, not behavior that failed to conform to a religious or moral standard — the tradition of the elders (Mark 7:1-23). The attitudes and spirit with which we live — the condition of the heart — are what needs to be changed.

Focusing on externals — belief and behavior — allows us to criticize and judge those whose behavior fails to conform to our religious-moral standards just as the Pharisees criticized Jesus’s disciples because they “ate with defiled hands” (Mark 7:2). When we hate the sin, we are criticizing and judging. We say we love the sinner so we won’t think of ourselves as judging. We blind ourselves to what is in our hearts. A critical, judgmental spirit is a heart issue — the very thing Jesus said was the problem.

Focusing on externals — belief and behavior — appeals to our ego-centric nature. Every time we criticize and judge another person, we unconsciously say “I’m not like that.” Our critical, judgmental spirit expresses a not-so-subtle sense of “I’m better than them.” It looks down on the other as inadequate and less than. The word for such an attitude is arrogance — an issue of the heart.

Focusing on externals — belief and behavior — reflects merit-based thinking. We profess to love the sinner, but our love is limited. We do not love them fully or freely. We do not accept them unconditionally. When we say “hate the sin,” we condemn their sin, viewing it (and them) as unacceptable. Our authentic acceptance of them is reserved for when they no longer sin. Our love is conditional — merit-based.

Focusing on externals — belief and behavior — repeats the very thing Jesus rejected in the Pharisees.

To be a follower of Jesus is to allow the things Jesus taught to shape how we think and live. Jesus related to every person with grace and forgiveness. He did not indulge in the emotional games of criticizing, judging, and condemning. To be a follower of Jesus is to embrace his spirit of grace and forgiveness, laying aside our inclination to judge, criticize, and condemn. Jesus viewed and valued, accepted and embraced every person as a beloved child of God and as a member of the covenant community. His acceptance was unconditional. The other person’s conformity to or failure to measure up to a religious-moral standard did not impact how Jesus viewed or treated him. To be a follower of Jesus is to embrace that spirit of unconditional acceptance that sees beyond our differences to embrace the other as someone that God loves.

To be a follower of Jesus is to do what Jesus taught. It is to love as Jesus loved. Loving as Jesus loved does not involve “hating the sin.” In fact, loving as Jesus loved focuses on the person, not on sin.

Our pride in “loving the sinner, hating the sin” reflects our struggle to love as Jesus loved. It reflects a heart problem.

 

Scapegoats

We all have them. For Cain, it was Abel. For the Jews of Jesus’s day, it was the Samaritans and the Gentiles. For the Pharisees, it was those who didn’t follow the scribal interpretation of the law. For the Republicans, it’s the left-leaning Democrats with their socialist agenda. For the Democrats, it’s the Republicans with their pro-business, dark-money conservativism. For the MAGA crowd, it’s the RINOs and the libs. For the Lincoln Project, it’s Trump and his supporters. For those advocating white supremacy, it’s people of color and immigrants. For The UMC, it’s the GMC. For the GMC, it’s The UMC. We all have our scapegoats.

A scapegoat is an individual or a group that another individual or group views negatively. The scapegoat is viewed as the source of a problem or of an unwelcomed situation. Viewing the scapegoat through this negative lens leads first to judging them and then to speaking critically of them. The scapegoat is to blame—“It’s their fault. They’re the problem. If it weren’t for them . . . !” The blame, in turn, can lead to treating the scapegoat cruelly, harshly, even abusively. The scapegoat is viewed and treated as being in a one-down, less-than position.

Not only do we all have them, it seems we also need them. We use scapegoats in at least three ways. First, they are a way we establish our own sense of identity and our sense of being okay. “We are not like them!” The implication is that we are better than them. Scapegoats are also a convenient way to avoid issues we don’t want to acknowledge and don’t know how to address. By blaming the scapegoat, we can live in denial, blind to ourselves and to our contribution to the problem. In addition, scapegoats are an easy target of our unrecognized, unaddressed, and unresolved anger. They allow us to dump our anger with a not-so-subtle sense of self-righteousness.

While we assign blame to the scapegoat, the scapegoating process is really about us. It is about what lies in our shadow that we do not recognize or acknowledge. It is about old pain that we stuffed down out of our awareness, leaving it unrecognized, unaddressed, and unresolved. Because we cannot face it or own it, this pain gets projected out onto others. Unresolved pain gets projected outward onto others. Unaddressed grief becomes a grievance directed at others. In other words, our scapegoat is a mirror reflecting what we don’t want to see about ourselves.  

It seems Jesus understood the emotional dynamic at play in the scapegoating process. In the Sermon on the Mount, he taught “Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye” (Matthew 7:3-5). We become critical and judgmental of others when we do not recognize the 2x4 in our own eye. Our unrecognized, unaddressed, unresolved pain gets projected onto others in the form of criticism and judgment. Our critical spirit is the indicator of inner pain needing to be recognized, acknowledged, addressed, and resolved. 

We all have our scapegoats. That reality raises two questions. First, who—what individual, what group—is my scapegoat? To answer this question, we only need to identify those we repeatedly criticize, judge, find fault with, and feel anger toward. The second question: what am I avoiding by focusing on my scapegoat? What about myself do I not see because of my focus on the faults of others? What is the 2x4 in my own eye that I don’t see because I am focused on the speck in my neighbor’s eye?

Scapegoating is a normal part of our human nature. It is a dimension of our constructed, ego-centric self. It is the inevitable expression of us-them thinking. Jesus warned us about these kinds of emotional games. “Do not judge,” he said (Matthew 7:1).

For those of us who are the followers of Jesus, scapegoating is not the last word. The Spirit is at work in us, bringing us to Christ-like spiritual maturity. That work includes healing the emotional wounds and the old pain we have stuffed into our shadow (an often neglected aspect of spiritual formation). “First take the log out of your own eye,” Jesus said. Dealing with and resolving our own inner pain changes how we see and treat others. It changes how we view and deal with the speck in their eye. As we work through our pain in pursuit of healing, we become more understanding of and compassionate with others. Rather than being critical and judgmental of them, we become supportive and helpful as they do the hard work of dealing with their pain. As the Spirit heals our pain and matures us emotionally-spiritually-relationally, we move beyond us-them thinking. The Spirit leads us beyond scapegoating.

Scapegoating is not a characteristic of the follower of Jesus. 

Maintain the Unity of the Spirit

As the splintering of The UMC continues, the sadness in me grows. As we quarrel and fight, I see very little of the spirit of Christ. As we criticize and accuse, I look in vain for evidence of the fruit of the Spirit. Rather, what I see is the spirit that permeates our polarized culture. I see the Church following the ways of the world rather than the ways of the kingdom Jesus taught. I see people who call themselves Christians being critical and judgmental, harsh and bitter toward other Christians. (It may be that even this lament does not reflect the spirit of Christ and is devoid of the fruit of the Spirit.) In the schism we United Methodists are experiencing, it seems to me we United Methodists Christians have squandered a rare opportunity to demonstrate to the world the redeeming ways of God.

Unity is the central theme of the book of Ephesians. The Trinity – Father, Son, Spirit – are actively engaged in bringing unity back to creation under the lordship of Jesus — “to gather up all things in him (Christ), things in heaven and things on earth” (Ephesians 1:10). Restoring the oneness of creation is the primary objective of God’s eternal, redemptive purpose. In that redemptive purpose, each member of the Trinity — Father, Son, Spirit — plays a specific role (Ephesians 1:3-14 — Father, 1:3-6; Son, 1:7-12; Spirit, 1:13-14). The Church plays a central role in this purpose (Ephesians 3:10). The Church is to demonstrate the unity or oneness that characterizes the love-based relationships of the Trinity. We — both Jew and Gentile — have been saved by grace (Ephesians 2:1-10). The Spirit works to move us beyond our differences, molding us into a new humanity (Ephesians 2:15) in which God lives (Ephesians 2:21-22).

The author appealed to this holy calling (to demonstrate how grace and love make unity or oneness possible) when he exhorted his readers to live in a way that reflected the life to which they had been called — the life found in the Trinity (Ephesians 4:1). He urged them, “making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3).

We humans commonly seek unity in sameness. We segregate ourselves into groups of those like us — those who look like us, those who think like us, those who believe the way we believe, those who do things the way we do things. (Segregation is the way we deal with differences.) This way of relating naturally involves comparing and competing. We judge people based on how they conform to our expectations, our thinking, our beliefs. We are critical of those who do not measure up and exclude them. Our critical, judgmental spirit is tied to rigid, black-and-white, right-and-wrong thinking that cannot tolerant any way of thinking that challenges how we think and what we believe. We think of ourselves as better than them. We use our power to protect our way of life against those whom we view as a threat to it. In this way of thinking and living, agreement is a prerequisite to unity.

Christian unity is different. It is oneness experienced in the midst of differences. It reflects the life of the Trinity — unity in diversity. (Ephesians 4:1-16 is a unit. Verses 1-6 are about unity; verse 7-16 about diversity.) Such unity embraces differences as God’s creation and God’s gift. The differences are strengths that make community possible. In Christian unity, each person is valued. Each has a gift to offer that enriches the life of the community — “as each part is working properly” (Ephesians 4:16).

Christian unity is the work of the Spirit — “the unity of the Spirit” (Ephesians 4:3). It is a gift of the Spirit that we are to protect and maintain. Maintaining the unity of the Spirit requires Christ-like maturity (Ephesians 4:13). It is only possible as we are “made new in the spirit of your minds” (Ephesians 4:23). This new way of thinking which produces a new way of living is the work of the Spirit. As our thinking is shaped by the character of God and the ways of God, the Spirit transforms our hearts and minds. The Spirit leads us to put off our old self that follows the ways of the world (Ephesians 4:22) and to put on our new self that reflects the likeness of Christ (Ephesians 4:24). We live in love (Ephesians 5:2), as beloved children of God (Ephesians 5:1).

The unity of the Spirit is to be protected and maintained “in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3). “The bond of peace” refers to the work of Christ (Ephesians 2:11-22). “For he (Christ) is our peace; in his flesh he has made both groups (Jew and Gentile) into one and has broken down the dividing wall, that is, the hostility between us” (Ephesians 2:14). Christ laid the ground work for unity. The Spirit works to make it a reality by growing us up spiritually. Unity is the Spirit’s gift to the Church.

Protecting and maintaining this gift of the Spirit is not easy work. It requires “humility and gentleness” coupled with patience. It requires “bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2). The original language means “putting up with each other.” It seems to me that, in the splintering that is happening in The UMC, there is a lack of humility. Instead, I see a lot of “I’m right, you’re wrong” arrogance. Instead of gentleness, I see a lot of anger and resentment being spewed out in attacks on and condemnation of others. Rather than bearing with one another and putting up with one another, I see a willingness to angrily walk away from one another. I see a disregard for the Spirit’s gift of unity and the bond of peace created by Jesus’s death on the cross.

It seems to me we United Methodists have squandered a rare opportunity to demonstrate to the world a better way of living in relationship. We have failed to show them the way of love.

Discerning the Will of God

For fifty years – since 1972 – The United Methodist Church has struggled to discern the will of God regarding the issue of homosexuality.

The current language of The Book of Discipline (2016) states: “The United Methodist Church does not condone the practice of homosexuality and considers this practice incompatible with Christian teaching.” The language of “incompatible with Christian teaching” is what the majority of delegates to General Conference have discerned, since 1972, to be the will of God.

Other delegates to General Conference have a different understanding of God’s will concerning homosexuality. They have sought legislatively to change the language of The Discipline, seeking to amend the language to be less condemning, but their efforts have repeatedly been voted down. They have staged demonstrations at General Conference in an effort to make their voice heard. In recent years, some have defied the mandates and prohibitions in The Discipline, specifically in regards to ordaining homosexual individuals and to performing gay marriages.

Individuals on both sides of the issue appeal to the Bible to support their positions. One group appeals to what, in their minds, are clearly stated moral laws that support their position. The other group appeals to spiritual principles which, they argue, take priority over those moral laws. Both groups believe their position reflects the will of God. Both groups believe they are right and the other side is wrong.

This fifty year struggle over the will of God regarding homosexuality has now resulted in the creation of The Global Methodist Church and the current splintering of The UMC as congregations vote to leave The UMC to join the GMC.

This on-going controversy raises the question: how does one discern the will of God?

In his letter to the churches of Rome, the apostle Paul wrote about discerning the will of God. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2, emphasis added).

Paul’s teaching ties the discernment of the will of God with the renewing of the mind. The renewing of the mind enables us to discern the will of God. According to Paul’s teaching in 1 Corinthians 2, this renewing of the mind happens as we learn the wisdom of God (1 Corinthians 2:7), taught to us by the Spirit who searches the deep things of God (1 Corinthians 2:10-13). The renewing of the mind results in us possessing the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16b). As our thinking is shaped by the character of God and the ways of God, we are able to discern the will of God.

Paul’s understanding is echoed by the author of Colossians. “We have not ceased praying for you and asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of God’s will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding” (Colossians 1:9, emphasis added). This writer tied knowing the will of God to Spirit-guided thinking. The writer goes on to say “so that you may lead lives worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him” (Colossians 1:10). The objective of discerning God’s will is so our lives can be shaped by it. Knowing God’s will leads us to live God’s ways. The Spirit who guides our thinking in turn empowers us to live the ways of God Jesus taught.

According to these teachings, the will of God will always reflect the character of God. It will be an expression of God’s steadfast, faithful love. It will always be full of the grace and forgiveness Jesus lived. It will view and value, accept and embrace every person as a beloved child of God. It will use power to serve the other, seeking the other’s spiritual growth, development, and maturity. It will never use power to control the other or demand that the other conform to our expectations.

Paul’s teaching in Romans 12 ties our ability to know the will of God to our ability to think, under the guidance of the Spirit, with the wisdom of God and the mind of Christ. In addition, his teaching says that as long as we think the way the world taught us to think, we can never really discern the will of God. His language, in the original, is “stop being conformed to the pattern of this world.” If we want to discern the will of God, we have to learn to think differently. We move beyond how the world taught us to think to how the Spirit teaches us to think. As long as we think the way the world trained us to think, we will confuse our beliefs with the will of God.

In this fifty year struggle to discern the will of God regarding homosexuality, perhaps we have focused on the wrong issue. In our focus on homosexuality, we have overlooked the more fundamental issue: how do we discern the will of God? If we were to address that question, then we could ask, “Which position reflects the character of God and the ways of God? Which position reflects the thinking and ways of the world?”