We Cannot Love Out of Anxiety and Fear

In my last blog (We Will Not Fear, 9/3/18), I said that we are not at our best when we live out of our anxiety and fear (or anger, I might add). Our anxiety and fear take our thinking capacity "off line" so that we unconsciously react rather than thoughtfully respond. 

This blog takes that idea a step further: when we live out of our anxiety, fear, and anger, we who call ourselves "Christian" betray our Christian identity. We act contrary to what we say we believe. We act contrary to the teachings of Jesus and to the ways of God. We fail to love as Jesus loved. Our anxious, fearful spirit is opposite the grace-based, servant spirit of Christ. This kind of betrayal is especially true when the followers of Jesus become embroiled in conflict.

Conflict among the followers of Jesus is nothing new. Acts 6 records conflict in the first church. The conflict was between the Hellenists (Greek speaking Jews) and the Hebrews (Aramaic speaking Jews). Interestingly, this first recorded conflict had overtones of ethnic and cultural issues. That early church found a way to resolve the conflict and make it an occasion for growth and public witness. But conflict in the church did not end. The church at Corinth, the churches of Galatia, the church at Philippi, the communities of John all experienced conflict according to the witness of the New Testament. My first experience of church conflict was in my home church when I was eleven. It led to the firing of the pastor. As a pastor, I have never served a congregation that has not experienced conflict or some kind of division. The UMC, since 1972, has experienced on-going conflict over the official position of the Church regarding homosexuality.

Unaddressed and unresolved conflict among the followers of Jesus is a public betrayal of our Christian identity. Our failure is on display for all to see and, inevitably, to gossip about.

But what if we dealt with our disagreements and conflict differently? What if we dealt with them in keeping with the teachings of Jesus and the ways of God? What if we approached them out of a spirit of love? What if we addressed them as that early church did: in ways that led to resolution, witness, and growth? What might the impact be on our Christian identity and witness, not to mention our own spirituality?

I believe a different way of dealing with our conflicts is possible, even in the divisiveness we are experiencing in The UMC concerning A Way Forward. We can deal with our disagreements and conflict differently, but to do so requires us to move beyond acting out of anxiety, fear, and anger.

When we live out of our anxiety, fear, and anger, we are living out of what the Apostle Paul called "the flesh" (Galatians 5:16-21). We are living out of our default human nature with its what's-in-it-for-me, self-serving spirit. We are living out of our most base nature ... and it's not pretty! Our anxiety and fear block out what we say we believe (our thinking capacity) and its ability to guide us and what we do.

 Paul taught that we can move beyond our default human nature and its anxiety, fear, and anger through the power of the Spirit. "Live by the Spirit" (Galatians 5:16), "keep in step with the Spirit" (Galatians 5:25, NIV), Paul taught. He went on to say that our default human nature is at odds with the Spirit (Galatians 5:17). What we do when we are living out of our default human nature (the works of the flesh, Galatians 5:19-21) is at odds with what the Spirit produces (the fruit of the Spirit, Galatians 5:22-23). Thus, what we do and how we act depends on the spirit out of which we a living in the moment: the spirit of anxiety, fear, and anger that is inherent to our default, human nature or the Spirit of Christ.

Our anxiety, fear, and anger cause us to live out of a defended posture. They cause us to see others as different from us and, thereby, to see them as a threat. We see them as "other." Consequently, we build walls, both physically and emotionally, to protect ourselves from what we view as "other." And, when push comes to shove - which it so frequently does - we use our power to defend ourselves and our position while attacking the other and their position. In other words, our anxiety, fear, and anger breed conflict and division. Paul said it this way: "The works of the flesh are .. enmities, strife, jealousy, anger, quarrels, dissensions, factions, envy," Galatians 5:19-20.

The Spirit, on the other hand, leads us and empowers us to love as Jesus loved. The Spirit empowers us to live out of a spirit of joy and peace that displaces anxiety, fear, and anger. The Spirit empowers us to be patient, kind, generous, faithful, and gentle in the way we treat others. And, most importantly, the Spirit empowers us to exercise self-control.

Spirit-empowered self-control is the key to loving as Jesus loved. It is the door that leads to joy and peace. It underlies our ability to relate to others with patience, with kindness and gentleness, with generosity and faithfulness.

The Spirit calls us to exercise self-control by making us aware of the anxiety, fear, and anger that stir inside us. That awareness creates a choice within us: continue to live out of the anxiety, fear, and anger or manage them so they do not have power over how we think and what we do. (See again last week's blog: do not continue to fear.) The awareness of our anxiety, fear, and anger is the Spirit's call to put ourselves in a position for the Spirit to move us beyond them into joy and peace.

We cannot act in love while we are living out of anxiety, fear, and anger. And isn't love (not belief or a position on can issue) the distinguishing mark of the followers of Jesus?