Symptoms of the Constructed-Self Syndrome

Religious practices often get co opted by the ego. When they do, the life of the church suffers.

The ego-based self (the only self most of us know) is a constructed self. It is built using self-effort to conform to some external standard of right-and-wrong, good-and-bad, acceptable-unacceptable. That standard generally reflects what "society" and/or family - the world in which one grew up - said was good-and-bad. Comparing and competing are inherent to the constructed self. We compare ourselves to others, focusing particularly on those who don't measure up to the standard to which we conform. This comparison produces an us-them mentality. Judgement and condemnation are always players in the constructed self (even though Jesus said, "do not judge so that you may not be judged," Matthew 7:1). Judging and condemning the other gives us an unconscious sense of being "better than" them. We feel good about ourselves at the other's expense. Shame lurks underneath the spirit of judgment and condemnation. We shame the other, communicating that they are basically flawed and no good. This shaming tendency reflects the shame that lives deep inside us, generally outside of our awareness. We fear that we are flawed and no good.  (Shame was often used in our formative years when we failed. It was used to motivate us to be better. BTW: shame never works as a motivator. It only cripples.) This comparing and competing, judging and condemning, segregating into us-them categories produces an ego-based identity - a sense of self that is defined by "the good' we do and "the bad" we don't do.

Naturally, religious practices offer a ready-made standard for comparing and competing, judging and condemning - for constructing a sense of self with a religious overtone. Churches and church life become the natural arena for this constructed self, dressed in religious garb, to live out its identity.

Churches and church life are often victims of the constructed self syndrome. The symptoms are predictable.

• Some standard of measurement (unstated expectations) permeates everything. It may be proper belief (about the Bible, about sin, about God) or proper behavior (morals or "reverence in worship" or mission support) or proper ritual (the right way to worship). Rules and policies (what we can do, can't do) govern the life of the church. 
• Conformity - doing the right things, in the right way - is expected. Thus, a spirit of performance, particularly in worship, creeps in. Appearances are important as are meeting expectations of what people want/like. 
• A reserved sense of evaluation is the prevailing emotional tone. Criticism and complaint, judgment and condemnation are often expressed about failure to measure up to expectations. Criticism and complaint, judgment and condemnation become power-plays to control what happens and how. This spirit of judgment excludes any sense of joy or expression of creativity. 
• Acceptance and approval are conditional, tied to how well one conforms to the expectations and norms. The congregation struggles to offer God's kind of radical hospitality.
• An us-them spirit is the norm. Belonging is limited to those like us - who think like us, look like us, act like us, value what we value. Those "not-like-us" are often targeted for condemnation as unacceptable, undesirable, less-than ... or, even, sinful. 
• Relationships tend to be more social than spiritual. We enjoy being together and find ways to do so, but seldom share honestly of our spiritual struggles. 
• Leadership is restricted to those who are committed to the way we do things. Leaders function as managers, protecting and maintaining the status quo. 
• We openly express pride about our past. We often speak of "the good old days." We continue to do what we have always done and how we have always done it, assuming that is what is pleasing to God (because it is pleasing to us!). There is little hunger for "more" spiritually. 
• Clinging to what we have always done and how we have always done it, we resist anything new or different, anything that disrupts the comfort zones we have created for ourselves, i.e., change. We interpret the introduction of change as criticism, meaning "you're doing it wrong."  
• We ask God to bless what we are doing rather than ask how we can be a part of what God is doing. 

When church life becomes infected with the constructed self syndrome, it becomes a reflection of the culture rather than a reflection of God. It dresses the world's ways in religious garb rather than embodying the ways of God (the Kingdom). It uses God to validate who we are and what we do rather than allowing God to shape who we are and what we do.

The constructed self syndrome is a never-ending battle in church life. Its only antidote is healthy spirituality.