Making Peace with Being Human

It is something we all deal with – this thing of being human. And it is something we cannot escape. We’re stuck with being human. We don’t have any other option. The only choice we have is in how we deal with our humanness.

Being human is a mixed bag.

Some parts of our humanness are amazing: the ability to think, to learn, to grow — the ability to choose and, thereby, partially shape our own destiny — the ability to plan, design, create, and produce — the capacity to experience and appreciate the beauty of creation in all its diversity — the amazing design of our physical bodies — the uniqueness of our individual personalities — the richness of living in meaningful relationship with another, knowing and being known — the joy of love and loving — the capacity to participate in the depths of the spiritual realm.

Certainly, we are more than just another animal. We are indeed created in the image of God. We have the capacity to live in relationship with God, participate in God’s quality of life, and possess God’s character of self-giving love as our own. God’s fingerprints are on every part of who we are. As the psalmist wrote, we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).

Other parts of our humanness are not so wonderful.

Being human always involves being in process. We are never fully grown or mature. Some part of us will always be incomplete — not yet fully developed — immature. These still-in-process places in our lives are where our knowledge and abilities are not adequate. As a result, what we can do is not good enough. It doesn’t measure up. We can’t get it right. We fail — while others get it right and succeed!

Being human means living with limitations. We are not all powerful or all knowing, i.e., God. All of our energies — physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual — are limited. We do not have an unlimited amount of love or patience or compassion or strength or energy or knowledge. These limitations translate into needs — physical needs, emotional needs, relational needs, spiritual needs. Life is an on-going process of getting our needs met. Even when our needs are met and we are satisfied, the sense of contentment is fleeting. The needs return and have to be addressed again.

Being human involves living in a world full of challenge. Life involves difficulty, struggle, and pain. When the challenges of life bump up against those still-in-process, not-yet-adequate places in our lives, we can feel overwhelmed.

Being human means having relationships that are less than what we want — relationships in which the other fails us and we fail them — relationships laced with conflict or with a lack of honesty (pretense) and emotional distance in an effort to avoid the conflict — relationships that cause us and others pain — relationships that fail — relationships that end, leaving us to live with grief.

How do we deal with these not-so-wonderful aspects of being human?

Most of us struggle with them. We frequently fight them. Some of us go so far as to hate them. Certainly, all of us have known the desire to escape them. We long for life free from struggle and pain — for life where our needs are met, we are content, and we live in peace — for relationships where we feel safe and loved. We long for the life we knew in the Garden before . . . well, before we knew what we know now . . . when we still lived with the innocence of young children before their innocence is lost. We long for Eden.

Beneath our struggle are feelings of guilt and shame compounded by the fear of condemnation and judgement. These feelings are the product of viewing the still-in-process, not-yet-adequate aspects of our lives through the lens of merit-based thinking.

How do we make peace with being human, particularly with these not-so-wonderful aspects of being human?

One would think the Church would help us answer these questions. Sadly, in my thinking, the Church has too often added to our struggle.

The Church has historically dealt with our humanness through the lens of sin. Theologians and church leaders of all stripes are quick to quote the Apostle Paul, “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

The Church’s obsession (can I use that word?) with sin reinforces our feelings of guilt and shame, the fear of condemnation and judgment. The condemnation of sin fuels our resolve to try harder, to do better, to get it right next time. Our resolve is genuine, but our ability to “do the good I want” (Romans 7:19) falls short. We inevitably fail . . . yet again. As Paul said, “I can will what is right, but I cannot do it” (Romans 7:18).

Repeated failure to “do the good I want” produces a variety of outcomes — none of them healthy or beneficial. Some of us get trapped in the life-depleting cycle of confession and repentance, resolve, trying harder to do better, failing yet again, leading back to confession and repentance that starts the cycle all over again. Some of us give up, resigning ourselves to the mediocrity of “as best I can.” Our spiritual lives become little more than involvement in the life of the institutional church. Others of us punish ourselves with self-condemnation, shame, self-hate, and depression. We live spiritually defeated lives devoid of joy and peace. Others of us go the opposite direction. We ignore sin. We don’t talk about sin. We avoid the concept. In our personal lives, this avoidance leads us to focus on the right things we do — beliefs, church involvement, moral living, etc. We avoid dealing with any sense of personal failure or wrongdoing. This avoidance of personal wrongdoing inevitably leads us to focus on what others do wrong — how they fail to measure up. We criticize and judge. We select someone or some group to be the target of our anger — a scapegoat. (Our anger at the scapegoat is the anger we feel towards ourselves but have disowned, pushing it down into the subconscious.) Our condemnation of the other feeds our sense of being better than them. We live with the certainty that we are “right” and okay just the way we are. We are blind to the condition of our heart.

The gospel Jesus entrusted to the Church helps us deal with our sin differently. It also helps us make peace with being human. When the Church proclaims the gospel rather than our sin, it helps us with our struggle with being human.

The heart of the good news is how God deals with our sin. God deals with our sin with grace and forgiveness. God does not react to our sin with condemnation or allow it to be a barrier in his relationship with us. God relates to us out of God’s character of steadfast, faithful love — a love that never wavers, a love that never gives up on us or abandons us. Living out of this steadfast, faithful love, God reaches out to us in our sin. Through the incarnation in Jesus and the indwelling presence of the Spirit, God walks alongside us, helping us deal with our sin and move beyond it.

God’s grace and forgiveness set us free from the fear of condemnation and judgment. It cleanses our hearts of guilt and shame. Trusting God’s grace and forgiveness, we can honestly face how we fail so we can learn from it. Our sin and failure become occasions for learning and growth as the Spirit leads us to recognize the deep-seated issues that give birth to the wrongdoing. The experience of sin and failure is redeemed. Transformation and cleansing take place on a deep level. As a result, we move beyond our sin.

The gospel also helps us make peace with being human.

Our sin does not lie in being human. We are human with all of its not-so-wonderful, still-in-process, not-yet-adequate aspects. In addition, we are sinful. The two, however, are not the same thing. The Church’s preoccupation with sin often leads us to confuse the two. Paul’s use of the term flesh — or rather, our interpretation of his term — also contributes to this misconception.

Our humanness is what it means to be human as described above. Our Sin (with a capital S) is a spiritual condition that controls our lives and impacts our relationship with God. Paul described this condition as being held “captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members (Romans 7:23). Sin (with a capital S) produces sins (lower s, plural). Sin is the disease; sins are the symptoms. Sin is the spiritual condition; sins are behavior produced by that condition. See again Paul’s description in Romans 7:14-25.

As long as we view our humanness as sinful, we cannot make peace with being human. We fight against our basic human nature. We learn to hate it rather than accepting it as normal. We never learn how to honor our humanness or live within its limitations. We get stuck in our struggle, never making progress with either our humanness or our sin nature.

The gospel teaches us to view our humanness through the lens of grace rather than the merit-based thinking that is our default. Grace allows us to embrace our still-in-process, not-yet-perfect nature without reverting back into guilt and shame or into fear of condemnation and judgment or into self-condemnation and self-hate. Grace teaches us to focus on learning and growing as we bump up against the still-in-process places of our lives. Grace allows us to embrace our failures as learning opportunities that teach us something we could not learn any other way. Grace teaches us to graciously receive what others have to give when dealing with our needs. Grace teaches us to live in glad dependency upon the Spirit in those times when we are inadequate and incapable of measuring up. Grace teaches us to accept our limitations, allowing us to practice good self-care. Grace teaches us to make peace with being human.

Only when we make peace with being human will we be able to live fully into who God created us to be.