How We Keep Getting It Wrong

It’s a recurring problem, it seems to me—one we keep repeating throughout the centuries of religious history. We see it in the Hebrew scriptures, centuries before Jesus was born. We see it in the conflicts Jesus had with the religious leaders of his day. We see how the early church struggled with it as they grappled with the place of the law and the inclusion of the Gentiles. It is reflected in the various movements in early Christianity—the desert fathers and mothers, for example—and the efforts to capture true belief in the various creeds. The reformation and the many denominations it spawned are other examples. It seems every generation and every culture has to wrestle with the problem. It is a problem with which we ourselves wrestle. Seemingly, few avoid it or—for that matter—resolve it.

The problem is rooted in a wholesome desire, so it seems to me. Or maybe it is rooted in fear. Or maybe a little of both. Self-interest is probably the unconscious, driving motivator. Our recurring problem is rooted in our desire to live a life that is pleasing to God. This desire is reflected in the question a lawyer—an expert in Jewish religious law—asked Jesus. “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” (Luke 10:25).

The mistake we make—which creates the recurring problem—is in what we think is pleasing to God. In other words, our thinking is the problem. It seems to me there are three dimensions to our thinking that make it problematic. The reason this problem keeps reoccurring is these three dimensions of our thinking are inherent to our human condition.

The first dimension of our thinking that is problematic is its merit-based orientation. Merit-based, earning-oriented thinking is our default way of thinking. This way of thinking is transactional thinking that says we have to do something in order to get something. We have to deserve what we receive and we need to receive what we deserve. This merit-based, transactional thinking is reflected in the lawyer’s question: “What must I do to inherit eternal life?” In his mind, he had to do something in order to attain eternal life. This way of thinking inevitably comes up with laws that define what is required, expectations that must be met. It calls for conformity to the expectations, conformity rooted in self-effort. When this merit-based thinking is played out in religious life, conformity to the expectations and laws through self-reliance and self-effort is the dominating focus.

The second dimension of our thinking that is problematic grows out of the first. Merit-based, deserving-oriented thinking inevitably leads to a focus on how we fail to measure up while identifying who fails to measure up. The thinking is sin-focused—that is, behavior-oriented. When sin-focused thinking is played out in religious life, sin management is the dominant, underlying theme. How we fail to measure up—i.e., sin—is a recurring theme which keeps guilt and shame—the inevitable byproducts of sin—alive in our hearts and minds. Forgiveness is offered for the wrongdoing along with its guilt and shame if and when we repent. Merit-based, deserving oriented thinking says we have to do something in order to gain something. We have to repent in order to receive forgiveness.

Sin-focused thinking, in turn, leads to the third dimension of our thinking that is problematic: egocentric, me-centered thinking. Sin-focused thinking trains us to focus on the wrongs we don’t do along with how we do what is expected—for example, active in church life, faithful in attending worship, participating in Bible study, helping the so-called “less fortunate.” It also makes us aware of others who fail to measure up—i.e., commit the sins we don’t do—and who don’t do what is expected the way we do. These two foci feed our ego. They help us feel good about ourselves. This sin-focused thinking with its focus on behavior props up our fragile ego—our egocentric identity. It helps us still the self-condemning, shame-based voices in our heads. It allows us to believe we are good people or good Christians in spite of what the voices say about us.  

The question the lawyer asked Jesus reflects this fragile egocentric identity.

Since he was a legal expert in Jewish law, Jesus invited him to answer his own question. The lawyer responded by quoting the Jewish Shema (Deuteronomy 6:4) coupled with Leviticus 19:1. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27). Jesus affirmed his answer, directing him to follow this law. “Do what you know to do. Love God. Love neighbor.” The lawyer, not satisfied with Jesus’s response, pressed him further. The gospel writer noted, “wanting to justify himself, he asked Jesus, ‘And who is my neighbor?’” (Luke 10:29).

The man wanted to justify himself—that is, he wanted to reassure himself that he was a faithful Jew who not only knew the law but also followed the law. He wanted assurance that he was doing everything he needed to do to be pleasing to God, everything he needed to do to gain eternal life from God. The lawyer wanted to know he was doing enough.

One of the major difficulties in merit-based, sin-focused thinking is knowing “how much is enough.” How good do I have to be? What sins must I avoid? What do I have to do to make a passing grade with God? As a result, our egocentric identity—rooted in merit-based thinking and based on our “right” behavior—is fragile. It needs constant reinforcement.

This need for constant reinforcement is commonly found in being critical of others—finding fault with what others do or don’t do, judging them based on our perception of their “failures.” Within our criticism of the other is the implied perspective: “I’m not like that. I’m better than that.” By putting the other down, we unconsciously exalt ourselves as better than them. We prop up our fragile ego at the other’s expense. Sadly, this focus on the other’s wrong behavior blinds us to the inner spirit of our hearts—a critical, judgmental spirit devoid of understanding or compassion.

When merit-based, sin-focused, egocentric thinking is played out in religious life, behavior is used to prop up our fragile egos by fostering a not-so-subtle arrogance that we are better than “those people.”

So, here’s how we keep getting it wrong, as I see it. We keep functioning out of merit-based, sin-focused, egocentric thinking. We keep creating religious systems based on this kind of thinking—the recurring problem. In doing so, we keep the focus on us. We create man-centered, me-oriented religious systems. And we miss what Jesus told the lawyer to do: love God with all of one’s being; love your neighbor as yourself. Eternal life—God’s kind of life, God’s quality of life—is found in loving. It is a quality of life that can be experienced today—here, now. “Do this and you will live,” Jesus said (Luke 10:28). “You don’t have to wait until you die to experience eternal life. You can experience it today by choosing to love,” Jesus said.

Unfortunately, the religious systems we create based upon our merit-based, sin-focused, egocentric thinking do not teach us to love God because they keep the focus on us. They don’t teach us how to love. That’s our recurring problem. It’s how we keep getting it wrong. We keep creating merit-based, sin-focused, egocentric religious systems that keep the focus on us.