The Gift of My Adversary

 The intense polarization in this political season confronts me with a challenge: how do I respond to those who not only attack and discount what I think but also attack and demean me as a person? It's the age-old question of "how do I deal with my adversary?" (Sadly, the polarization has transformed former friends and family into adversaries, at least on social media. I am continually amazed at how condescending and mean-spirited some are in their comments.) 

I certainly don't want to "return in kind." I don't want to attack and demean them. And I choose not to give them power over what I think or feel. (Do they really think they can change what I think by challenging, attacking, and discounting my position? Or by being condescending toward me? Raises the question: why do they feel the need to correct me?)

I confess that I have toyed with the idea of unfriending some of them on social media, but that seems to me to be a passive-aggressive, dishonest way of dealing with them. Some would counsel me, "Just ignore them." That sounds like good advice. After all, their comments say more about them than about me. I confess, I sometimes laugh, sometimes sigh, sometimes just shake my head.

But I want my response to be more than what I don't do. As a follower of Jesus, I want to respond in a  way that is redemptive. It seems to me this time of polarization provides a great opportunity for us as the followers of Jesus to speak a healing word - dare I say, a word from God. But to do so, we have to respond out of our spiritual life rather than out of a political posture, out of a Spirit-nurtured spirituality rather than fear. I don't see much of that happening on social media. (Thanks to the pandemic, social media takes up much more of our lives than before COVID.) 

Jesus is clear about how to deal with one we view as an adversary. "But I say to you that listen, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Do not judge ... do not condemn ... forgive ... give." (Luke 6:27-28, 36-38). Jesus calls us beyond what we don't do. He teaches us to make a positive, healing response. 

As a follower of Jesus, I want my response to be shaped by the teachings of Jesus and the ways of God.  I want to respond out of who I am as a follower of Jesus, not react out of a bruised ego that is offended by what my adversary says or does. (Reacting to what the other says or does is the ego's effort to defend itself. It makes the interchange "about me." Reacting allows the other, rather than the Spirit, to have control of what I feel, of what I do.) 

In fact, I want to move beyond viewing the other as an adversary. Viewing the other as an adversary is us-them thinking. It fails to view the other as a beloved child of God. Viewing the other as an adversary allows me to give up on the other, to cut off from them - kinda like unfriending them on FB. 

In the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), Paul listed five relational terms. "The fruit of the Spirit is ... patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness." These five terms are what love looks like in a relationship. It is to be patient with the other, kind in how I treat them, generous in giving them patience and kindness and compassion and understanding, faithful as in not giving up on them, and gentle in how I touch them ... even when the other is a so-called adversary.  

God is a God of faithful love (Exodus 34:6-7). That means God does not give up on us or abandon us. So, as a follower of Jesus seeking to live the ways of God, I choose not to give up on the other or abandon the relationship. I choose to be faithful because God is faithful. 

But such faithfulness is only possible through the power of the Spirit. The Spirit is the one who empowers me to love as Jesus loved. The Spirit empowers me to do what I cannot do in my own strength. As Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 

And, therein, is the gift of my adversary. Encounters with my adversary remind me to depend upon the Spirit for power to do what I cannot do in my own strength. They are a reminder to live out of a posture of glad dependency upon God. They are a a call to prayer, inviting me to pray for the ability to respond with love while praying for my adversary. 

"So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:9b-10).

Merciful God, may it be!